ADHD and Procrastination
I made a deal with a friend a few weeks back, that we would both write the blogs that we had been putting off - and I joked that mine should be about procrastination. Our agreed deadline was the middle of January, so of course it is now February as I finally sit down and focus!
The thing is, procrastination can be a huge part of living with ADHD, and it is intrinsically linked to time blindness and perfectionism. It is the perfect cocktail of getting nothing done, at least not the thing you should be doing. Add in the fact that, as an ADHD-er, you can be anxious a lot of the time, and decision paralysis can quickly set in.
As I write, I am waiting for the central heating guy to come and fix our overheating boiler, again, and it strikes me that my brain can sometimes be like a boiler that is overheating or refusing to boot up in the morning – it's either working at too fast a pace, or in freeze mode. Finding the right ‘temperature’ can be tricky, some days everything flows, other days I am on fire and getting everything done at twice the speed of the average human. Alternatively, I can feel like I have ‘powered down’ and nothing gets done.
Before my ADHD diagnosis was confirmed, I used to beat myself up constantly for this raging inconsistency. It could make relationships difficult, made work impossible at times and probably stopped me getting promoted more in my previous career. I did pretty well in life, but I would inexplicably crash and burn every few years, and then perimenopause coincided with a toxic boss, and the day came when I couldn’t get out of bed – I was diagnosed with work related stress and anxiety, but I now think it was mostly ADHD burnout. I had encountered one narcissist too many, and my brain, which thrived on social justice and doing the right thing, imploded. It coincided with my 50th birthday, a significant year for so many of us, when we look back at what we have achieved and wonder what our future will bring. I was a lost soul for a while there, even though I looked fairly functional to the world.
I wish I could reach back and tell myself that things would eventually be ok, that I wasn’t just ‘a crap human being’ as my internal voice would tell me. When I emerged from burnout, packed in the job and the boss, and moved 200 miles away to a calmer place, I realised I needed to change everything about my life. I took a part time job, used the spare time to do things that made me happier and calmer, and eventually started my own journey with therapy.
I was talking about procrastination, wasn’t I? The other thing you need to know about us ADHD-ers, is that we like to tell stories, we can’t always be concise, and it’s important that you know the how, where and why about our lives! So, no apologies for telling you a little of my life story, it is relevant, at least to me 😊. So, I was good, in my new work-life-balance world, and then menopause well and truly knocked me off my feet – that's a whole other blog, but it meant that all my ADHD coping mechanisms suddenly stopped working, For a short time I was scared that I had early onset dementia, forgetting words, names, dates, everything. It was a difficult year, where I nearly gave up work, as I felt such a failure.
Sand running through fingers
In some ways, starting to train as a counsellor saved my sanity. I learned so much about human nature and psychology, about relationships and I began to understand myself better. As my counselling training progressed, the focus and academic skills needed became an issue for me; I loved researching a subject (the ADHD rabbit hole) but struggled to condense it down into a coherent essay. 3500 words for me was not enough – pruning my drafts back to the required wordcount felt overwhelming, so procrastination quickly set in. In my last essay, my first draft was 10,000 words, and it physically hurt me to cut it by two thirds; my perfectionism was convinced it would be dreadful (it wasn’t!). Getting my ADHD diagnosis half-way through my counselling course meant that I could start to accept all the quirks that I had seen as failures. It also led me to research things that could help me to work more effectively without burning out. This is different for each person with ADHD, as needs vary, but here’s what has worked for me (so far):
The Pomodoro technique – there are lots of Pomodoro apps or sites, but the principle is the same, you set a timer for 20 minutes at a time, to focus on one thing, and it rewards you with a short break at the end, then back to the task. Something about the pinging of alarms really works with my brain – here's what I use: https://pomodorotimer.online/
An hourglass – yes, a pretty sand timer helps me so much, I now have one timer for an hour and one for 30 minutes. You can buy them online for about £20 and I love that the sand is colourful, mine are lime green and bright purple, visual stuff seems to work well for me.
Body doubling – this can work in several ways, but it’s about accountability; if I tell someone I am going to do something, I tend to do it. Ok, this blog is being done two weeks later than I hoped, but the fact that my friend and I both agreed to do it means it got done. On my counselling course, it meant meeting in the library with other students, focusing on writing for the morning, then rewarding ourselves with lunch out.
Done lists vs. To Do Lists – my latest ADHD trick is having a ‘done list’, where I list all the things I have actually done that day. Writing them down and ticking them off gives me a little dopamine kick, and it can help on days like today, when I woke up frustrated about my lack of productivity. It’s easy for us to forget what we had for breakfast, let alone what we did 24 hours ago.
Many, many reminders! - I often need reminders on a whiteboard, on my phone, on a post it note and on my laptop – and crossing them all off is rewarding!
Those are my top tips – what works for you? Does any of this sound familiar? If you are looking for a therapist that understands ADHD, I can help. I will listen, support and validate your experiences, and help you find your way to a calmer space. If you are curious about working with me, click here to book a free 20-minute, no obligation discussion.
Sand timer image